Embrace the Laughs – A Collection of Goofy Quotes to Brighten Your Day

Embrace the Laughs – A Collection of Goofy Quotes to Brighten Your Day part 1

I told my computer I needed a break, and now it refuses to start.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze them into someone’s eyes.

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

They say money talks, but all mine says is ‘Goodbye!’

I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s still not flying.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

My spirit animal is a sloth on roller skates.

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

Embrace the Laughs – A Collection of Goofy Quotes to Brighten Your Day part 2

I’d like to be a unicorn, but I don’t really have the horn for it.

I dance like nobody is watching, but I’m always afraid they are.

Sometimes, I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I go back to being me.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

If I were a vegetable, I’d be a ‘couch potato’!

I don’t need an alarm clock; my ideas wake me up.

If you think you’re too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

I’m just a cupcake in a world of muffins.

Embrace the Laughs – A Collection of Goofy Quotes to Brighten Your Day part 3

I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing!

In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

The only exercise I get is running out of coffee.

If I had a dollar for every time I had no idea what was going on, I’d be rich!

I don’t always procrastinate, but when I do, I prefer to do it later.

I’d follow you anywhere, but I can’t find my shoes.

I’m a multitasker: I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time.

Coffee: because adulting is hard!

Why do we tell actors to ‘break a leg?’ Because every play needs a cast!

Embrace the Laughs – A Collection of Goofy Quotes to Brighten Your Day part 4

I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.

I might look calm, but in my head, I’ve pecked you to death.

The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

I’m not short; I’m fun-sized!

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me.

I’m on a chocolate diet: I only eat chocolate on days that end in ‘Y’.

Keep rolling your eyes; maybe you’ll find a brain back there.

Inside me, there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes.

Embrace the Laughs – A Collection of Goofy Quotes to Brighten Your Day part 5

I have an idea! Let’s just be weird together.

I could conquer the world, but I’d rather nap.

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!

If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off!

I need six months of vacation, twice a year.