I have a joke about depression, but it’s too heavy.
Life is like a coffin: only the dead are really inside.
I told my therapist about my dark humorshe laughed, then asked if I was okay.
Laughter is the best medicine, unless you’re at a funeral.
I don’t see the glass half full or half empty; I see it shattered on the floor.
Why dont skeletons fight each other? They dont have the guts.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands like everyone else.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… I call it lunch.
They say money talks; mine just waves goodbye.
Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it.
I’m not saying I’m a bad friend, but Im still waiting for that ‘R.I.P.’ text from last Halloween.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… of cornstalks.
I have a friend whos a doctor; he always tells me laughter is the best medicinethats why I take laughs with a side of pills.
A day without laughter is like a day without sunlight, which is good, because Im a vampire.
If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Every cloud has a silver lining; even dark humor has its punchline.
I wanted to lose weight this year, but it’s been a real uphill struggle since my doctor left me for someone thinner.
My sense of humor is dark enough to make coal look bright.
Why dont graveyards have Wi-Fi? Because people are just dying to get in.
Life is full of surprises, like a firework in a graveyard.
They say laughter can kill; maybe thats why Im never invited to parties.
I decided to stop procrastinating, but Ill start that tomorrow.
Caution: dark humor aheadproceed with a strong sense of irony.
Death is natures way of telling you to slow downunless youre already dead.
If you’re not laughing at death, what’s the point of living?
My therapist said my jokes are a cry for help, but Im just really funny.
Dark humor: because life is too short to take seriously.
I have a friend whos a mortician; his jokes are to die for.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dark humor.
Id tell you a joke about a grave, but its just too deep.
Heard about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
My friend said I should do lunges to stay in shape, but that seems like a big step.
Existentialism is just ennui with a side of dark humor.
How do you know when youve reached adulthood? When you find the humor in grave situations.
Some people bring happiness wherever they go; I bring it in a hearse.
Laughter may not solve all your problems, but it can definitely help you avoid them.
Irony: The only thing darker than my sense of humor is my coffee.
That awkward moment when you realize your joke is the only thing left in the room alive.
If laughter is the best medicine, Im a pharmacist with a morbid sense of humor.
To be unhappy is to be aliveembrace the darkness with a chuckle.
My humor is like a haunted housescary but strangely entertaining.
The only thing worse than a bad joke is taking life too seriously.
In the end, all that matters is the laugh you leave behind.
Why did I break up with my girlfriend? She couldnt handle my dark sense of humorshe thought it was a phase.
Running late is just my way of blaming the universe for the inevitable delays of life.
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