Funny Quotes That Perfectly Describe Me part 1
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!
My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.
I put the pro in procrastination.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I’m just a cupcake in a world full of muffins.
My brain is like the internet: full of tabs, but not much bandwidth.
I finally found my inner peace… and it’s just taking a nap.
I’m the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
Funny Quotes That Perfectly Describe Me part 2
I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition.
I’m not clumsy, I’m just on an adventure with gravity.
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m getting fat.
I was going to take over the world, but I overslept.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
I work well under pressure… but not so well when there’s no pressure.
I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at once.
I can’t remember the last time I did something for the first time.
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days.
Funny Quotes That Perfectly Describe Me part 3
I’d explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Confused dictionary at home.
I don’t sweat, I sparkle!
I’m not late; I’m just early for tomorrow.
I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.
I may be a handful, but at least you’ve got two hands.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.
If I was a vegetable, I’d be a couch potato.
I’m like a software update: whenever I feel like I’m improving, I tend to crash.
They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
I put the ‘elation’ in ‘public humiliation.’
Funny Quotes That Perfectly Describe Me part 4
I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.
If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had a puppy.
I’m in shape. Round is a shape, right?
My personality is like a software update; you never know what you’re going to get.
I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
I told my therapist about my imaginary friends, and now they’re all in therapy, too.
I’m not anti-social; I’m just pro-solitude.
My goal this week is to move just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.
I’m not a morning person; I’m more of a coffee person.
If life gives you lemons, add vodka!
Funny Quotes That Perfectly Describe Me part 5
I’m like a broken pencil: pointless, but still sharp.
I don’t need therapy. I just need to go to the beach.
I put fun in dysfunctional.
I’ve got a great sense of humor – on the internet.
I’m not a chef; I just microwave like a master!
