I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
Dad: The only man who can get away with saying, ‘Because I said so.’
I’m not just a dad, I’m a father figure with a belly.
I dont always tell dad jokes, but when I do, he laughs.
If you think I’m a bad driver, you should see my dad!
Why dont skeletons fight each other? They dont have the guts!
I told my kids I was going to put my dad jokes on a T-shirt. They said, ‘They wont fit!’
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Being a dad is like folding a fitted sheetno one really knows how.
Dad life: Powered by coffee and chaos.
I have a dad bod, but I prefer to call it a ‘father figure’!
Dad, I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you.
You know you’re a dad when you have more toys than your kids do.
I’m not a regular dad, I’m a cool dad in my head!
Why did the dad cross the road? To get to the Dad Joke convention!
My dad wasnt just my dad; he was an amateur comedian with a degree in dad jokes.
I told my kids I was going to start a joke factory. They said, ‘Take it easy, dad!’
Welcome to my dad jokes show, where the laughs are free, and the eye rolls are extra.
Being a dad means you have to be a human napkin for children.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
My kids asked me whats it like being a dad. I said its like having your own little life coach.
I dont need a license to carry a dad joke. Its a free-for-all!
If dad jokes were a sport, Id be the reigning champion!
Why dont dads need GPS? They can always find the remote.
Dads advice: When in doubt, just add more cheese.
You know youre getting old when your kids start asking for your Wi-Fi password.
I asked my kids to tell me a joke. They said, ‘You already did, dad!’
As a dad, my superpower is making my kids laugh at my awful jokes.
Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
Being a dad means embracing the chaos and the snacks!
When your dad says ‘We’ll see,’ he means ‘No’but with hope.
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. Just like my dad!
Dad: the man who taught me how to laugh at my own jokes first.
To all the dads out there: The difference between a flat tire and a dad joke? One can be fixed!
Im a dad, which means Im a master of bedtime negotiations.
Dad jokes dont get old; they just become classics!
Whats a dads favorite exercise? Running out of patience!
I told my kids Id take them somewhere special like not to the grocery store!
Why dont dads ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding from someone who knows all your hiding spots!
If laughter is the best medicine, dads are the hospital!
Did I tell you about my dad joke collection? Its a real treasure trove!
I told my kids Im not a regular dad; Im a ‘fun-veyor of joy’!
Why did I become a dad? Because Dad Joke was my lifes calling!
Behind every great kid is a dad whos pretty sure hes screwing it up!
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