Golf: the only sport where you yell ‘fore!’ and swear at a tiny white ball.
I never miss a puttunless its actually my turn.
Golf is a lot like taxes: you drive hard to make a little money, but you end up paying more than youd like.
My golf game is like a bad relationship: full of ups and downs.
Why do golfers bring two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
Golfers have to know the meaning of ‘par’: it’s what they were aiming for before they sliced into the forest.
I only play golf to see how many times I can make my friends laugh with my terrible swing.
Golf: where the ball is as stubborn as a teenager.
I play golf because I enjoy waking up 5 hours before the sun just to miss a putt!
If you think golf is boring, you just havent seen me play yet!
My golf coach told me to ‘keep my eye on the ball’too bad I was distracted by the snack cart!
Golf: the only sport where you can have a great day and still end up in the sand.
Why do golfers never get lost? Because they always follow the ‘fairway!’
The secret to a good golf swing? Dont forget to blame the wind!
In golf, as in life, its all about how you deal with the rough patches.
Every golfers dream: to putt with zero pressure… and a full snack bag.
I told my friends I was joining a golf club. They assumed it was a support group for bad swings.
The best way to get ahead in golf? Start on the back nine!
Golf: the perfect excuse to wear plaid shorts in public.
If my golf game were a movie, it would be called ‘Gone with the Wind.’
Golf is just a game of patience… and an endless supply of golf balls.
Why did the golfer bring an extra ball? In case he got a hole in one or lost his mind!
The only time I feel like a pro golfer? When Im playing mini-golf!
In golf, as in life, its all about the follow-through and the snacks on the cart!
Golf: the only place where its acceptable to talk to yourself.
My favorite golf tip: always take a snack break at the halfway point!
A golfers worst nightmare: hitting the ball into a water hazard and losing your favorite driver!
Im on a golf diet: I only putt when Im hungry.
Why are golf clubs so good at telling jokes? Because they always follow through!
Golf is 90% mental and the other half is physicalat least thats what I tell myself.
Id give up golf, but Id miss my friends’ terrible scorecards way too much!
Golf: where your score can swing worse than your club.
Ever notice how the golf cart is the most fun part of any round?
Why do golfers need a good sense of humor? Because theres always a pun in a missed stroke!
I finally have the perfect golf strategy: just putt and hope for the best!
Golfers have a unique relationship with grass; its a love-hate situation.
I take my golf swing as seriously as my snack choices!
You know youre a golfer when you start discussing your ‘handicap’ like its a serious issue!
Why did the golf ball go to school? To get a little ‘driving’ education!
Some people think golf is boring. Clearly, theyve never played with me!
Behind every great golf game is a coach wondering how it went so wrong.
Golf: where you can yell at your ball without anyone judging you too much.
What do you call a golfer with no arms? Trust me, he still has a better swing than I do!
Golf is like a sitcom: sometimes the best laughs come from unexpected plot twists.
They say golf is a sport of precision; I say its a sport of improvisation!
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