I told my computer I needed a break, and now it wont stop sending me beach wallpapers.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch I call it lunch.
Coffee: Because adulting is hard.
Im on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
If Monday had a face, I would kiss itonly if it were wearing a smile.
Dont worry; Im on my way to be a responsible adult right after this nap!
Life is short. Buy the shoes, eat the cake, and ignore the calories.
Todays forecast: 100% chance of getting distracted.
I’m not lazy; I’m on energy-saving mode.
If you can’t find me, I’m probably lost in my thoughtssend snacks!
Sarcasm: just another service I offer.
I’m just a cupcake in a world full of muffins.
The only marathon I run is a Netflix marathon.
Mondays are for fresh starts and coffee.
I cant adult todayplease and thank you!
If you were a vegetable, youd be a cute-cumber!
Im on a whiskey diet. Ive lost three days already.
Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed.
I dont need an inspirational quote; I need coffee!
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.
I need six months of vacation, twice a year.
Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the snacks.
Im just here for the WiFi.
Instead of I cant, say I havent learned how yet.
Quit trying to be normal. Youre not a taco!
Procrastinators unite tomorrow!
You cant make everybody happy. Youre not pizza.
Good vibes only and pizza.
Live like someone left the gate open (and let the dog out).
You had me at Lets get tacos.
Keep calm and pretend its all under control.
I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right.
Fridays are for friends and frozen pizzas.
Chill out; its just a case of the Mondays.
My hobbies include eating and complaining that Im getting fat.
Always remember that youre uniquejust like everyone else.
Raise your hand if youve ever had a do I have a snack panic.
The best part of waking up is knowing its a holiday.
Ice cream is cheaper than therapy.
Keep your heels, head, and standards highjust dont trip!
I dont need a hair stylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I cant keep calm; Im a natural disaster!
Im not short, Im concentrated awesome!
Why fit in when you were born to stand out? (Preferably with pizza!)
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