Laughing Through the Nine-to-Five – Hilarious Work Quotes to Brighten Your Day

Laughing Through the Nine-to-Five – Hilarious Work Quotes to Brighten Your Day part 1

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Monday is the day that my coffee needs coffee before I can start working.

I don’t always do work, but when I do, I prefer to blame it on my caffeine.

I finally learned how to use the ‘out of office’ reply – it’s my new favorite work activity!

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

My job is secure. No one else wants it!

I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

Work hard so your dog can have a better life.

Teamwork makes the dream work, or at least it makes the coffee break longer.

I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.

Laughing Through the Nine-to-Five – Hilarious Work Quotes to Brighten Your Day part 2

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it during work hours.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything – including excuses!

The second best time to ask for a raise is after lunch.

I told my boss I needed a raise, and he laughed. Not sure if that’s a good or a bad sign.

My workday is 90% coffee and 10% setting an alarm for the next coffee break.

Every time I say ‘Make it work,’ I’m really just waiting for my coffee to kick in.

I have a great job for a procrastinator – I can always put things off until tomorrow!

I’m not lazy; I’m on energy-saving mode.

Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.

I don’t want to be a millionaire; I just want enough money to be able to afford my coffee addiction.

Laughing Through the Nine-to-Five – Hilarious Work Quotes to Brighten Your Day part 3

Having trouble settling down? The cure is adding ‘office chair’ to your living room!

If work is hell, then coffee is my salvation.

To me, the ‘work-life balance’ is mostly just the balance between coffee and naps.

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

My boss said they needed a ‘people person,’ so I told them to hire a life coach!

Running late to a meeting? Just tell them you’re running on ‘creative time.’

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at once!

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

The best part of my job is that I can leave my work at work – just kidding, it follows me everywhere!

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Laughing Through the Nine-to-Five – Hilarious Work Quotes to Brighten Your Day part 4

My workday starts at 9 AM and ends at ‘whenever I can find the exit.’

I don’t always work hard, but when I do, I take a long break after!

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I go back to being me at work.

Working from home – where coffee breaks can last all day!

I took an office chair to my therapist; we discussed seating arrangements.

The only thing I hate more than meetings is another person talking about how much they hate meetings.

Every day I’m hustlin’… to the coffee maker.

Work is just a place to pay for the weekend.

I dream of a world where coffee is free and work is optional.

I wanted to start a procrastinators’ club, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

Laughing Through the Nine-to-Five – Hilarious Work Quotes to Brighten Your Day part 5

Some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue. Today, I’m just the coffee mug.

Why is it that people who speak the least in meetings always seem to have the loudest opinions?

I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough!

The only time I feel particularly productive is when I’m planning my next vacation.

I’m not a morning person; I’m a coffee person first, then maybe I’ll be a morning person.