I am Beyonce, always.
Sometimes Ill start a sentence and I dont even know where its going.
Thats what she said!
You miss 100% of the naps you dont take.
I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!
I am running away from my responsibilities.
Corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture.
I am at my most productive when I am procrastinating.
Dwight, you ignorant slut!
Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Its happening! Everybody stay calm!
I am waiting for my real life to begin.
You have no idea how high I can fly.
Im an early bird and a night owl. So Im wise and I have worms.
I wish there was a way to know youre in the good old days before youve actually left them.
Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.
Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
If I were buying my coffin, I would want it to be a lot more expensive.
Pretzel Day is the best day of the year!
My whole life is a series of awkward moments.
Ive been drunk for a month.
I am running a game of telephone in my brain.
Jim Halpert is my spirit animal.
I am really, really, really, really, really smarter than you.
In the end, youre just a bunch of bad decisions.
We are family! I got all my misfits with me.
I dont hate it. I just dont like it at all.
You are a thief of joy.
Absolutely, I would love to break out of here.
I feel like all my friends are getting married and having babies.
Everything is just so routine.
Im not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
When people say, ‘We need to talk,’ its never good.
Im on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
You cant just sit there and watch me work.
I just want you to know, that Im not going to let you change me.
This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here.
Sometimes Ill be like, ‘Yeah, Im really doing great,’ and then I realize I lied.
Im a big fan of the word ‘meh’.
You cant put a price on a nice cup of coffee.
This is my happy dance.
Im not super into the ‘office culture’.
I didnt want to be a part of this meeting, but here we are.
Work hard, get your job done, then leave.
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