I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong.
I didnt say I was the best, I just said I was better than you.
Im on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
Your face makes my beer taste bad.
Id explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
You can’t be late until you show up.
I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.
If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart.
Im not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
I dont need a therapist; I have my smart remarks.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
You must be made of copper and tellurium because you’re Cu-Te.
Im not lazy, Im just on energy-saving mode.
If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.
I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Im not short, Im fun-sized.
Out of my mindback in five minutes.
Youre proof that even evolution makes mistakes.
I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze.
I’ve got a photographic memory; too bad I forgot to bring the camera.
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not you.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
I didnt fail the test; I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
My sarcasm is the only thing keeping me sane.
Some days youre the statue, other days youre the pigeon.
If karma doesnt hit you, I gladly will.
I’m not a morning person; I’m a coffee person.
Common sense is a flower that doesnt grow in everyones garden.
Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time.
You were born to be real, not to be perfect.
I dont play hide and seek; I play dont look for me.
Im usually a patient person, but Im not a saint.
My brain has too many tabs open.
If only you could put your face in airplane mode.
When nothing goes right, go left.
Youre like a software update. Whenever I see you, I think, ‘Not now.’
Im not arguing; Im just passionately expressing my viewpoint.
Im not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?
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